:: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 ::

Talking to Americans...

Obviously, we get a lot of American tourists here in Whistler. While they make me the angriest, they are also the funniest (in retrospect).

"do you accept dollars?"
"... excuse me?"
"you know, American money?"
(this has happened more than once. they don't seem to realize that they're not the only country in the world that uses dollars)

"can you just find the right amount... I don't know what all this change means"
(they also don't seem to realize that all of our change, short of the loonie and toonie, is exactly the same)

*pays with American cash, without asking if we accept it first* "there you go."
*gives Canadian change*
"Oh, I don't want Canadian change. Give me American."
(I love when people assume that we take American, but I love it even more when they assume we keep enough of it in-store to give it back to them. No, I can't give you American change, because you're not IN America. I have to give you Canadian change, because you're IN CANADA.)

"how can you not take American Express? it's accepted more internationally than Visa, you know"
(sure, I believe you. American express must be accepted more because America is obviously the centre of the universe.)

"do you sell coffee/cappuccino/americano?"
(nope, terribly sorry. no coffee here.)

"I'm having a double-tall-nonfat-decaf-sugarfree-vanilla-latte-extra-hot-no-foam"
(oh you are, are you? I'll just leave you to it then. You obviously don't need me to get it for you, or you would have asked politely. Not to mention "tall" isn't even a size we serve.)

(sidenote: my favourite thing about the "double tall" is that, when clarifying, there is absolutely no consistency in what size the customer actually wants. i always ask "do you mean big tall or small tall?" and one person will say, "the smallest, of course" right after the man before says "the largest you've got".)

*interrupts* "... decaf soy caramel macchiato..."
*talks on cell phone* "I can't believe they don't have a Bank of America here..."
(the ones who come up and shout their order at you, without using "please", "thank you", "may I have", or any other polite words, are always my favourite. I'll just let you finish that call before I serve you that drink that isn't even on our menu. Oh, and of course we don't have a Bank of America... we're not IN America.)

*looks at menu board, which features "regular", "large", and "extra-large" for about three minutes* "...I'll have two small coffees".
*serve regular size coffees, our smallest size* "... oh, are those small? I thought that was regular."
(Well yes, it is regular, our smallest size on the menu board you just spent close to five minutes reading. Why would you assume we have another, smaller size that we're not advertising? Just because you want it does not mean it will magically appear)

The non-dialogue related one I love is how people will count out their change for me, look straight at me, and then dump it all on the counter instead of placing it in my hand. Then I have to pick it up, coin by coin, before I can put it in the till (which is much more time consuming than it sounds, especially when you have ten people waiting in line). I'm always tempted, when there is change, to look them in the eye and then dump it on the counter, but I've never had the guts to do it. Funny thing is, the counter-dumpers are always the ones who have their hands held out and ready for their change...

and my running favourite of the week...

"I'll have a decaf cappuccino"
... "here you go, decaf cappuccino"
"oh, is that nonfat?"
... "well, no, you didn't ask for nonfat. it is partially skimmed, however"
... *eyes drink suspiciously* "well, okay..."
... "would you like me to make you another one, ma'am?"
... "no, this will be okay, but for next time..." *looks at me disapprovingly*
(I agree, this situation is obviously my fault. I'll remember to work on my telepathy so that next time I'll know you want skim milk even though you didn't bother to ask for it.)

I think I need to get out of customer service...

:: Katy 7:36 a.m. [+] :: ::