:: Thursday, March 17, 2005 ::

I have written and erased and written and erased. I'm not sure what exactly to say or how to say it. I'm up against that brick wall of wanting to talk and yet not wanting to reveal too much.

Lately life seems like a giant lesson and it's hard to pay attention and absorb it. The days are certainly brighter than the were before, but they still exhaust me. I've hit a flashpoint of life experience, and I worry I'm fucking it up. Luckily I've snuggled into a very understanding group of people.

I've discovered that I am as ridiculous as any woman. Walking away because I want to be followed. Turning my back because I want to be touched. Not saying what I want because what I really want is for my desires to be anticipated and satisfied without my having to ask.

To think it's possible that I am THAT woman.

I always thought I wasn't.

At least I realize it now and can do something about it, right? And that thing that I need to do is stop THINKING so much, something I was doing a fairly decent job of until tonight.

Bah.


~song~ Ben Kweller - Believe

:: Katy 1:49 a.m. [+] :: ::