:: Monday, October 25, 2004 ::

Dear Sir or Madame:

I am writing you this letter with the hopes of securing part-time employment. As a full-time student at the University of British Columbia, I have developed an excellent work ethic, am adept at managing my time, and require part-time employment in order to finance my shopping addiction education.

I am available for any shift, provided that it is not early, late, during class time or "free" time, on weekends, or basically at any time. I don't want to have to sell things to people, buy things from people, serve things to people, take orders from people, perform menial or "gross" tasks, smile when I'm actually pissed off, say "have a nice day" when I really mean "roast in hell you rat bastard", or, actually, "service" people in any capacity.

I am highly experienced in the areas of movie watching, chocolate eating, money spending, "bad-girly-guitar-playing", snowboarding, and most importantly, napping/sleeping. I believe with the extensive knowledge I have in these areas, I would be a valuable addition to your team.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Please see my attached resume for more details. I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,
Katy Simpson

----

To put it in the words of Lloyd Dobler:

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

- "Say Anything" 1989

~song~ De La Soul - Held Down

:: Katy 5:24 p.m. [+] :: ::