:: Thursday, April 15, 2004 ::

Today I am reflecting and realizing that I'm satiated. Glutted on school, friends, food, drink, sex, life. Three days ago I had half a jar of sugarless jam and a bottle of mustard in my fridge and a grumbling tummy. I had alcohol withdrawl and boredom and itches that needed to be scratched. I had looming essays and friends that were busy and an ass that hadn't hit the gym in a week.

Funny how things can change in the course of a few days. All of a sudden I have a huge amount on my plate... sure, big essays, stress, exams. But also family and friends and laughter. And yeah, a little melancholy. But it's all about balance.

My life is definitely a rollercoaster this year... the ups and downs happen so quickly that I'm finally learning to just roll with the punches. Analyze less, experience more. Keep things to myself. Create a secret or two. Enjoy a little mystery.

I think I'm getting tired of being the girl without any secrets. No mysteries, no secret weapon, no aces up my sleeve. I have no use for the coy smile I've perfected.

It's an interesting process: figuring out that your own satisfaction, comfort, and approval are all you really need. That no feedback is required.

Hmm.


~song~ Ani Difranco - Joyful Girl

:: Katy 10:19 p.m. [+] :: ::