:: Friday, April 23, 2004 ::

I sit here killing time, awaiting my very last final of the year at 3:30pm.

It's funny... I'm feeling more stressed out now that school is over than when it was actually a pressing concern. I keep lying about, watching movies, trying to enjoy my temporarily responsibility-free existence, and just when I'm starting to relax, I get this gut-wrenching guilty feeling, like I really should be doing something else.

Then I sit back and breathe deep and remind myself that there's nothing. Nothing I should be doing.

And so I sit about and I make list upon list. Lists of things I need for the summertime, lists of things I want to do in the summertime, lists of places I want to go in the summertime. All across the apartment there are bits of paper with "... in the summertime" scrawled across the top in the cursive handwriting that I'm trying to get good at (who handwrites anymore anyway?).

I want to do all the things I never have the time or money to do. I want guitar lessons, I want to swim every day after work, I want to run outdoors in the sunshine, I want to hike up mountains and watch the sunset, I want to eat organic food and feel clean on the inside, I want to learn to go to bed earlier and enjoy the morning again, I want to read and read and read all the books that I never have the time to read, and lie about on my futon and watch movies with cold beers and laugh and laugh and laugh.

And French 110 at 3:30pm in the SRC is the last thing that stands in my way.


~song~ Bob Marley - Could You Be Loved

:: Katy 10:54 a.m. [+] :: ::