:: Monday, February 09, 2004 ::

Tired, groggy, lazy, and still addicted to this fucking computer. Regardless, also mellow and somewhat content. Shitty sort of day: little sleep, long classes, looming midterm, daunting papers, family illness, more family illness, and remaining family weirdness. I want to be there and I know I should be there but a small, evil, selfish part of me is sort of glad I have a reason to be here for a few more days. Does that make me a bad person? No. I firmly believe not. There is only so much stress a person can handle. I'm not really feeling it, but I'm worried it's there and it might just explode one day without warning.

Sometimes I can't tell whether I actually don't experience stress, or if I just manifest it in different ways and don't notice it. Until I have a crazy neck spasm, for example. Hard to say. But perhaps this general feeling of apathy is better than the awfulness that could be in its place.

Note to self: you still haven't made that massage therapy appointment. Or renewed your gym membership. Or called your dentist about your infected wisdom tooth. Or dropped off your pants to be fixed. Or paid your understanding roomate for the phone bill. Or written your sympathy card. Or done your homework.

It's times like this I can see how people become codependant so easily... it'd be really nice to have a warm body to curl up against right now.


~song~ Nick Drake - Road

:: Katy 6:58 p.m. [+] :: ::