:: Saturday, February 07, 2004 ::

I took the past week and a half off. Stopped going to the gym, started eating as many cookies as possible.

It wasn't as fun as it sounds.

Frankly, I forgot what it was like to feel malnourished and out of shape. To hate the feeling of being full. It's not a good one, my friends, not at all. I went through most of my teenage years feeling this way, and at the time it was like I was stuck in a hole trying to dig up.

It was such a long time coming, this relationship I have with my body now. I like it. It's cute. I look cute naked. It can run me places without having a heart attack. Good times. I don't believe in being rigid about things, which is why I'm not beating myself up about taking this break, but it's definitely time to get back on track. The thing is though... I forgot how quickly you can de-rail. I'm uncomfortable in my skin today. Scary, scary feeling, like my body is the one in control again.

I won't say I ever took for granted the comfort level I have reached with my body, but this discomfort is reminding me why I have to keep it up.

Ugh. So full of cookies. What was I thinking?


~song~ Millencolin - No Cigar

:: Katy 6:46 p.m. [+] :: ::