:: Friday, November 07, 2003 ::

So, now that I'm not in my "I have a horrible cough/cold and an infected wisdom tooth and pms and I just forgot my father's birthday for the second year in a row" mood, I'm a little more rational.

I do like school. I do like learning. I feel like I'm in a gathering stage right now - gathering all the information and experience I need to live my life. I'm just impatient to get to the doing stage, you know?

I just need a break. I worked really really hard throughout September and the beginning of October... harder than I've probably worked at school in a long time. So lately I've been slacking off, and I'm overwhelmed. So it goes. The fact is, I haven't really been pursuing most of the things I love: I haven't spent much time outdoors, been able to afford my photography habit, or picked up a book for fun.

So on the weekend I'm going to go to Duthie's and buying myself a book. And then I'm going to the drugstore and buying some film. And then I'm going for a walk in the park.

And then I'm going to the library and getting a head start on my term papers.

When it's all over, I'm going to go home for the break, and drive around in my car, stare at the ocean, buy myself books and CDs, read as much as I can on my own, see old friends, snowboard, and relax.

I want my degree... I want it so badly. And I've gone through so much to get this far. So when I'm finally standing on that goddamn podium, I'm going to cry like a baby, and I won't be ashamed. Because this is hard. And worth it - regardless of if I "use it."


~song~ Handsome Boy Modelling School - The Truth

:: Katy 1:25 a.m. [+] :: ::