:: Saturday, August 30, 2003 ::

Along came a spider...

It stared at me from our tan carpet, its smooth, shiny green skin looking painfully dry, its breathing laboured. And I nearly cried.

This was the tree frog that my cat caught, and promptly brought into the house to both show off and play with. I hate how he does that... tortures it before he kills it. Gives you a little perspective though... the cute cuddly little purring mass of fur that I love is a mean vicious razor-clawed beastie to someone else.

But I couldn't watch a tree frog die. I rescued it and put it outside in some wet grass. Well, to be honest, mom caught it while I freaked out, and then I took it out into some wet grass. I did the same thing for a huge spider I found in my room today too. No matter how many of them there are, or how many times they bite me, I just can't seem to bring myself to kill them.

So the point of all this is that two posts ago I gave myself permission to eat meat. And now that I have - I can't do it. Maybe it's just been too long, but I can't. How can I eat a chicken if I can't even kill a spider? This isn't meant to be coming as a moral statement... it's not something that I have some sort of philosophical argument prepared for... it's just a gut feeling. And maybe it'll change. I almost hope it will, because I really want chicken strips these days.

So I'm not going to begrudge my cat his frog. He just can't bring it in the house. I won't deny that nature's cruel. I won't deny that death is a part of life. I won't begrudge anyone else their meat either... eat all the animal you want. I know there's a food chain. I just can't do it myself.

After ten months, I finally know why I'm a vegetarian.

And now I'm trapped. Dammit.

(the bacon, it calls to me...)


~song~ Jim Croce - Time In A Bottle

:: Katy 9:15 a.m. [+] :: ::