:: Saturday, June 14, 2003 ::

Home

I'm home for a quick trip and it's much more emotional for me than I expected. So many questions all of a sudden... questioning my life, my choices, my location, my job, my everything. Suddenly I feel a very strong urge to be back here, working a shitty job and just being home.

But along with that feeling comes the familiar, welled-up feeling of homesickness... that suffocating fear of both the passing of time and lost opportunities. That feeling is the wall that blocks growth... it seems to pop up whenever I need to adapt. It makes me want to retreat to somewhere more comfortable. And it's that feeling that lets me know I'm in the right place. That this is something I should be doing.

Or is it? Suddenly I feel... trapped. Sad.

I guess we'll see how I feel when I get back to the city tomorrow.

Hmm. I'm overtired I think.

I'm curious... I know everyone's into their summer existence (myself included) and therefore this journal is viewed less. But is it viewed at all? Is anyone still there? My comments box is rather lonely these days... am I talking to myself?

I think that would be allright. I am slowly realizing that I am my own best friend. I really like hanging out with me. She's a great listener and enjoys all the same things as I do.

What a coincidence.


~song~ The Beatles - I Want You

:: Katy 2:45 a.m. [+] :: ::