:: Monday, December 30, 2002 ::

Never foget to knock on wood...

I'm genuinely trying to keep the optimistic spirit of the last post, but it's getting difficult. Since then we must add several things to my list:

1) cat peed on my favourite shirt... didn't realise until i was wearing it (yum)
2) food poisoning... or flu... either way, a night of much vomiting and no sleep
3) snowboarding... but before it even begins, my gloves are stolen out of the bathroom when my back is turned... time to add another 50 bucks to the Visa kids...
4) have defrosted to discover that I now have my mother's cold, and the medicine isn't working

I am getting very tired of being sick. I am getting very tired of my whole body hurting. I am getting very tired of stupid animals. I am getting very tired of having to distrust the human race. I am getting very tired of needing a break from my break.

I wonder what it's like to be a thief. Not that I've never stolen anything. Yes, I'll admit it, put it in writing: I have stolen. But it was penny candy, or maybe once an iced tea... not to say that it wasn't wrong but I'd like to think it caused very limited amounts of harm, if it was even noticed. Not to mention, I've learned my lesson. But what about people who steal things of real value, monetary or otherwise?

I'm sure whoever it was that stole the stupid gloves (because that's really all they are, just gloves) wasn't really intending to ruin my day. I'm sure they didn't even bother thinking, "Gee, it's 9am, I bet this person hasn't even had the opportunity to use them yet, they're still dry in fact, it might be a very bad start to their day to lose them." No, I'm sure they didn't think of any of that.

I'm so sick of people not thinking. The joy a thief feels when he gets a nice pair of gloves for free and thinks, "Score!" is the same type of joy that is felt but people who buy Swiffers and think, "How convenient!" instead of thinking, "It's probably a waste to throw this out every time I clean my floor. Perhaps using a conventional mop would slow the expansion of our landfills." The same type of joy that makes people who find great shirts at Banana Republic think, "This colour really accentuates my eyes!" instead of thinking "I wonder how many hours a small child in Indonesia spent stitching this shirt, and how much she got paid?" (or, at the very least, "Isn't there something somewhat ironic/insulting about the name of this store?")

I'm not trying to be all self-righteous here and suggest that everyone strip off all their store bought clothing, throw their to-go coffee cups in the recycle bin and commit to a life of militant non-commercialist idealism. But THINK. I'm not obsessive about this. I did down a hot chocolate at Starbucks this month. I did buy a pair of pants at the Gap this year. But I thought about it, and I'm still thinking. It seems like we're getting to a point where if we create any more Ponds facial cleansing cloths, or Swiffers, or clothing that can sell for 5 bucks because it cost a tenth of that amount to produce it, then pretty soon people are going to become just as disposable as the objects that litter our lives.

It scares me because I'm thinking of how many of you I haven't seen in person in a long time. How many of you haven't heard me express these sudafed-inspired rantings to your face? If you haven't, then it's been too long my friends. I'm not anti-internet... I think it's a fantastic way to keep in touch and blahblahblah. But it's not a replacement for the real thing. I miss you.

I guess this one is genuinely a rant. I blame it all on the medicine that is finally kicking in. So before it wears off again, I should probably get some sleep. Hopefully this entry is long and babbly enough to satisfy those of you who expressed impatience about my lack of entries. :-)

I missed it too kids, I missed it too.

listening: Tegan & Sara - If It Was You
reading: The Favourite Game - Leonard Cohen
watching: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (extended version)

:: Katy 1:07 a.m. [+] :: ::